Nothing happens

Noone really tells you that you should avoid certain topics when writing research papers. In some ambitious state I decided to work on something related to the partition 1947 and it was a terrible decision. For one thing I feel like I live in hell and for another if you decide to work on something as depressing as the murder of millions of people over ideas and politics that is going to be a nightmare. not only that it takes and emotional as well as physical toll. This is only true for people who feel things deeply. in retrospect Now that I have I have written that essay I feel as if I do not have to revisit that nightmare again.

Usually I try not to write about the history of South Asia and whenever I have tried to write about it for extended periods of time the outcome has been good work but absolutely horrible for my well-being to be in that headspace for too long. it has simple solution that I don’t think or write about the partition. I don’t really no or understand when the subject will be at such a distance that I would be okay with talking about it or re living it.
I know there are some people out there who write hundreds or like scores of papers on the subject of a land breaking apart. this thing is for them just an academic subject that they can write papers about and gain some kind of recognition and fill up their resumes but unfortunately for me the history of this place and the horror of the partition is…
sometimes academia is the slaughterhouse or something and you’ve got all these subjects and youre butchering them and trying to make them into some kind of a steak that you want to serve to idiots who sit in air conditioned offices and read about things that actually happened and then puff their cigars and and then move on to the next paper or essay or book and I don’t like those kind of people and that’s what academia is full of.
It has been it’s been a bad decision to join the academic profession because of how mindless and empty most of research is.
Now I’ve talked about everything except the things that I was writing. it was to put briefly about a film and motherhood and I should have never chosen this topic.
last year I almost left literature major because I feel like it gets too close without having some kind of first significant impact on things. It’s a kind of pointless exercise in writing and writing and talking and nothing really happens except some people’s pockets get fatter and the rest of us just move from class to class not really changing anything having some kind of impact on the world or even a plant. that is how bad it is and that’s not just the case for literature. It s also true for people studying political science or engineering. most of them are in it for the jobs and that kind of completely sucks and this is the point that capitalism has brought us to which is again lamentable but nothing can be done about it. we are like cretins and the majority of human beings have no say in what happens to them or do their lives and those decisions made by big people in the corporate sector and here we are in academia just talking and talking and talking and nothing really happens.

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